I heart you, FGB cork puller
Did I ever tell you I was really into wine at one point in my life? I think there comes a time when people get in their mid-20’s, and want to be “real adults.” That’s when they start thinking “I should start appreciating wine.” which roughly translates into “I really don’t know how to fit in. I still feel like a kid, but everyone is seemingly acting more mature than me. I shall do something that will make me seem more adult-like!”
It’s a bunch of bullshit.
Don’t get me wrong, I love wine. It has alcohol in it. I could sound like an ass, and tell you the last really good bottle of wine I had was in 2008, at Le Mistral in Houston. It was a 2002 Agnès and Sébastian Paquet Auxey-Duresses. I love wines from the Burgundy region.
See? Don’t I already sound like a fuckin’ pretentious asshole?
I’m sure if you asked me stuff about wine now, I could remember things. Most likely, I will just ask what you like, or say “I don’t really know.” [Note: If you ever catch me saying “I don’t know”, it usually means I do know, I just don’t feel like thinking, or talking, or being the center of attention. Or maybe I just don’t know. Hmmm…] But there’s something you realize when you *really* grow up, and stop pretending like you are grown up: details like special wines from regions in France don’t mean anything if the only person you’re sharing that wine with is yourself. In 2008, I wasn’t sharing that expensive bottle of wine with myself. Looking back, it could have been a 2 liter bottle of Dr. Thunder [That’s Walmart knockoff Dr. Pepper, for those of you who aren’t cheap soda aficionados], for all I care.
It’s the people you’re with at the moment that matter.
As I said, I was/maybe still am a big wine person. And of course, wine people all have their fancy ass corkscrews and things. I always hated corkscrews, because I don’t like the idea of screwing something into a cork. I don’t like the idea of possible cork particles everywhere. I’m also a scientist, and a designer; that means I like simple and elegant solutions. This cork puller fit the bill. I swear I bought it for under $5 at the time. It was so cheap, and so incredibly effective. And made in Italy. If you’ve never used one, I suggest you give one a try. The idea is you wedge the metal prongs in between the cork and the bottle, using a rocking motion. Once the prongs are in, you pull the cork out, unharmed. That’s it. I just opened a bottle today (I haven’t used it for some time now), and it amazed me how simple it was to use.
It’s sad to say, but this FGB cork puller is like a best friend. Maybe things change, time goes by, you aren’t in each other’s lives as much as before. But the times when you are together, it’s like nothing’s changed. Things work just like they are supposed to work. That never changes.
